New Technology

The computer and the internet became(gr.) a big part in our lives. The(מיותר) These new technologies have given us a lot of new possibilities. We can work on the computer, we can learn things and communicate whit(sp.) each other. In the last few years, there are a lot of people that(ww. - who) believe that computers will be able to replace teachers one day. I would like to state my opinion on this issue.

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On one hand, the use of the computers as a replacement to the teacher has (a) few benefits such as, students will be able learn without going to the school and the student will be able to learn wan(sp.) he will have(gr.) free time(So, how is this beneficial? You should explain that this means that it will be more convenient, for example). Also students that are having difficulties in a specific subject he(מיותר) will be able to go on(ww. - over) the material all the times that he will need(phr.+gr. - as many times as they need).

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On the other hand, computer(s) cannot replace the social experiences and the social stimuli. As humans, we need to be surrounded by others and be able to talk, shear(sp.) experiences et cetera. In my opinion, social skills are more important than studying and saving time.

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To sum up, in my opinion computers will be able to replace teachers one day. But I think it should be only computers also teacher(phr. -not clear what you mean) - This is too short and to vague for a conclusion.

(78)

Daphna

Car accidents

Young drivers are involved in many accidents today. For example, last week a seventeen year old young driver was involved in an accident that had happened because he drove too fast. An organization of accident victims has recently proposed that the age for getting a driver's license should be raised to 19 in order to reduce the number of accidents in which young drivers are involved.

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I support the proposal of the organization of accident victims to rise(ww.) the age of getting a driver's license to 19. Young drivers of the age of 17 are not mature enough to understand that driving can be dangerous and fatal. of the age of 17 you only think about all the benefits of having a driver's license when you have a driver's license, you do not have to depend on your parents and you do not need to ride on bus.

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Also, young drivers of the age of 17 on the road are not paying(gr) attention to the road and what is happening around them as well as someone of the age of 19. A driver that is 19 years old is more aware of the dangers on the road because his way of thinking is more responsible and mature.

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To conclude, I think that the proposal should be accepted by the government immediately because the more we wait, the more young drivers are hurt in accidents and killed.

(75)

Daphna

In the lest(sp.+ww.) years the Internet has took(gr.) a big part in our lives. We communicate through the Internet,searching(gr.) (for) information and working(gr.) in(ww.) the Internet. The Internet has a positive side but a negative to.(phr.)

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On the one hand, the Internet gives us the opportunity to communicate with people from different places in the world. We can communicate with relatives and friends that is(gr.+ww.) in different places in the world through a web camera or through a microphone on line. Also, in our spare time we can play games on line or read different articles.

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On the other hand, the Internet prevents people from meeting each other face to face, to see ache(sp.) other's face expressions and the look in their eyes when they talk with you . Also(try a different connector this time) the many hours that we spend in front of the computer are causing(gr.) us to not go outside or exercise(phr.). (A new sentence) because of that(phr. - As a result,) in this(ww.) days many people have health problems.(You should mention, in short, what kind of problems, like being overweight and out of shape)

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In conclusion, the Internet affected(gr.) on our lives in many aspects.In my opinion, there has to be a balance between the time that we spend in front of the computer and the time that we spend outside or with people.

(75)

Daphna

The Matriculation exams

The common opinion about the Matriculation exams is that they are the most reliable way of testing a student’s knowledge. But do they really reflect the knowledge of the students? In my opinion, the Matriculation exams are(gr.) not always reflect the real knowledge of the students ,the time and work that they have had put in learning.

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On the one hand, The Matriculation exams are very stressful because the exams are(מיותר) summarize all the work that you have done through the year and often many students, because of the stress you can forget some of the material that you have learned(phr. - tend to forget the material they have learned because of the stress).Also, you can forget to answer a question and that is(מיותר) damages the grade and not really shows the knowledge that you really have (Your phrasing is very awkward)

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On the other hand, When you are in the classroom, taking the Matriculation exam, your phone is in your bag, that is near the door. The only things on your table is a few pens, a pencil an eraser. Nobody disturbs or asks you things, you have the time and the silence that you need and the only thing that you have to think about is the exam. In this way, the students are(מיותר) answer the questions from their own knowledge.In this wey(מיותר) (and) we can see what the student is(מיותר) really knows.(You should use the word:to concentrate and try to expalin more clearly)

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To sum up, the Matriculation exams are only one way to test the students' knowledge and there are other ways, like writing projects. So, we can not rely only on the Matriculation exams and give the students more ways to express their knowledge(phr. - and provide other ways for students to show their knowledge).

(75)

Daphna

Friends

Everyone has a different definition about(ww. - of) who is a friend and who is not. For one person a friend is someone that he spends time with him(מיותר). For someone else a friend is someone that he can trust no matter what. For me, a friend need(gr.) to have a few main characteristics.

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First of all, in my opinion, a friend has to be someone that you can trust with your eyes closed(phr. - this is Hebrew), someone that you can tell everything in the world and not be afraid that he might tell someone alls(sp.). A person that has a friend that he can trust is a happier person because he does not have to deal with all of his problems alone and in difficult times he can always be sure that his friend will make him fell(sp.) better.

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Also,a good friend is someone that will help you and give you the best advices(מיותר) that he has . We often find ourselves in situations in which we have never been, and we can ask for advice from a friend, that might was in this situation or in a similar situation(phr.).So he can help us, or at least give us his point of view of the situation. Even if the advice does not help us, we learn how we can deal with different problems that we might run in to them(מיותר) in the future.

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To sum up, a friend is like another member of your family, that will be always (verb?)next to you ,will help you and just spend time with you without any expectation(s) to get something in return.

This is much better. Well done.

(83)

Daphna

Application for studies

12,Shenkar street
Holon
29, April 2010

Harvard University
65 Pine street ,Cambridge
Massachusetts


Dear Sir/Madam,

.
I am 23 years old I have studied veterinary medicine for two years now. I heard that your university is offering excellent biology and chemistry courses that I am interested in. I am writing to you because I would like to apply for admission to your school for completing my degree in veterinary medicine.
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I am interested in the Biology and Chemistry courses because I need them to complete my degree in veterinary medicine, but also because I have had always an interest in studying those subjects. Biology and chemistry were my meager(sp.) subjects in high school and I want to continue studying the(ww.) subjects in much serious frame like university(phr.) .
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In addition to my hopes to finish my veterinary studies, I also love the idea of studying in Harvard. Since I was a little girl, I have always dreamed to study in Harvard. I love the environment in Cambridge and I have been thinking about studying abroad for a long time.
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I would be grateful if you could send me more information about the courses, the total cost of the courses and the residence choices that exist in Harvard.

//

Thank you for your assistance.

/

I look forward to hearing from you.
/

Truly yours,
Anna Smith

(85)

Daphna

A trip to the USA

88 Pine Street
Holon
April 4, 2010

.

"See the World"
88, First avenue
New York, NY

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am twenty-three years old and I have just completed my military service. I am writing to you because I am interested to go on a trip in the USA and I would like to know more about the activities that your travel agency is offering. Also, I would like to know what is the age grope that are going to(phr.) this trip and which states the trip includes.
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I am interested in a trip that includes extreme sports like climbing, and tours in the popular sites, Niagara Falls, Navy Pier, and museums. Also, I would like to know if the trip offers any night life, such as, clubs casinos.
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I would like to know in which hotels the group is going to stay.In addition, I need information about the total cost of the trip to the USA, the number of people is in the group. I would be thankful if you send me more specific details about the trip's schedule.
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Finally, I hope that you reply as soon as you can and answer all my questions. I am looking forward to the trip.

Sincerely yours,
Mary Smith

(80)

Daphna

Radio show

88 Pine Street
Holon
April 4, 2010

Manager
Holon's local radio station
10 sokolove Street
Holon

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am sixteenth years old, I have heard about your plans to produce a series of one-hour programs for teenagers on ours local radio station. I am writing to you because I want to suggest you (unnecessary) an idea for the radio programs that. in my opinion. will interest teenagers (new sentence) which(ww. - The program) will discuss how to mange right the time.

On this radio show, teenagers will be able to ask how to mange their time right, so they have the time to do homework, to learn(ww.) to(ww.) exams and to rest from the day in school. They will get advices from other listeners, that are in(unnecessary) their age or they have been past(phr.) the same problem. Also, from time to time will come an expert(wo.) that can help the listeners.

In my opinion, this subject is important because many students do not know how to mange(sp.) their time right so they choose to not(wo.) do homework or not learn(ww.) all the material to(ww.) the exam and that influence(gr.) their grades . Many students are exhausted from going to school and dealing(with) all the problems that are connected to learning and searching the way that will make these experiences much easier.

To conclude, I think that it is the most suitable time for this subject because the period of the bagrut exams are(gr.) starting and this show will help many teenagers to pass(ww.) this period (successfully/more easily). Therefore, I believe that such a program will be very useful for them. I would like to thank you for considering my suggestion.

Yours sincerely,

Mary Poppins

(78)

Daphna

Gadna week

Two months ago all the eleventh graders from my school went on a Gadna week that took place in the south of Isreal.The purpose of the Gadna week is to show us,eleventh graders, how to be a soldier in Israel and what they go through in the military boot camp. I enjoyed on the Gadna week, even though we left one day earlier.

On our first day in the Gadna base the commanders divided us (in)to groups: six girls and six boys. The commanders showed us the tents in wich(sp.) we slept(gr. - were supposed to sleep) all the(מיותר) week, the tents was(gr.) divided in the same way like the groups.We also receved(sp.) uniforms and all the(מיותר) week we needed to wear them. On the second day, the commanders showed us the base and explained (to) us how to bahave(sp.), and how to talk with the commanders.

On the third day, we had an(מיותר) weapons(מיותר) lessons. We learnd how to hold correctly the weapons(wo.), wich(sp.) position for shooting is right, how we shold(sp.) behave in(a) firing range. On our last day on the Gadna base we went to the firing range, every student shoot(gr. - use the past) twelve bullets toward a target and in the end of the shooting practice we could take the target that we shoot(gr.) on(ww.). Before we left the gadna base we had(ww. - participated on a) certificate(ww.) ceremony with our commanders.

Finally, I highly recomend to all the eleventh graders that hesitate if(ww. - whether) to go to the Gadna week or not, to go to(ww. - on) this trip. Even though this week is very hard he(ww. - it) (is) also a very fun week. You get to know pepole that you do not talk with(ww. - to) in(מיותר) every day and it gives you the opportunity to experiens(sp.) new things.

(75)

Daphna

letter of complaint to a travel agency

88 Pine Street
Holon
February 18, 2010

Travel agency

10 Shenkar Street
Holon

Dear Sir/Madam,

I would like to complain about your organized vacation and the misleading information that I was given on the Internet about the organized trip I took. On my last vacation that was organized by your travel agency, that took place in Greece, I received bad services, I did not enjoy of the vacation and nothing on that vacation went as planned.

First of all, when I arrived at the hotel and saw it, I was in shock. The hotel was small and in the middle of no where , with bad service and terrible food opposed to what I read. I read that the hotel are in the middle of an ancient Greek neighborhood with a view to the ocean, with excellent service and with high quality food that was served in the hotel restaurant

Secondly, the guide that was attached to us wasn't friendly enough, he told inappropriate jokes and was incredibly rough and his explanation weren't comprehensible. Moreover, the route and sites chosen for the trip were not interesting and did not include all the sites that I read about in the internet site of your travel agency.

Finally, I am disappointed and irritated that I waste my money on this disappointing trip and on this terrible client service .I hope for a compensation and that you will relate to my complaint as soon as you can.

I look forward to your replay .

.

Yours truly,

.

Anastasia Kostenko.

(75)

Daphna

A letter of application

88 Pine Street
Holon
January 28, 2010

Pet Help organization

10 Shenkar Street
Holon

Dear Sir/Madam,

I have read about your organization, "Pet Help", in the local news paper. In the article I read that in your organization you take care of animals that do not have a home or animals that are injured. I would like to join the organization because I think that I have the appropriate skills for the job ,I love animals and taking care of them.

First of all, I an sixteen years old , I am a student at Kugel High School and I live In Holon.

The main reason for my application to the “Pet Help” is my love for animals. I had loved animals since I remember my self, I have always loved animals and I helped every animal that was hurt or did not have a home. I even have had a cat for almost eleven years.

Secondly, I believe that I can help the organization professionally. For the last two years I am an intern in a veterinarian clinic and I am also learning in a veterinary course. Due to my professional experience with animals I think that I am suitable for the job.

Finally, I would like to join your organization and help the organization in taking care of the animals in the organization shelter. I believe I can contribute a lot to the organization and to the animals .I hope that you will choose me for this jod.

I look forward to your replay.

Yours truly,

Anastasia Kostenko

Good.

(78)

Daphna